free270

sounds like we got some strong winds pullin in and cold temperatures about to
be comin this way.

was hearin how some's uneasy remembering when winds hit last year and left them
without power and stuff too.

winds are about 23 mph right now, but after midnight there due to hit and could get upto
50-60 mph in the morning hours.

temps are goin down to 21 and upper teens tomarrow night. could get some snow mix
on saturday and 1-2 inches of snow possibly on tuesday too.

so....needless to say, it wouldnt hurt to start gettin yourselves prepared for some
weather kentucky...

i got me a bottle of the oil (though i would have liked to gotten some oil lamps and
couldnt for bein tapped out of funds.)

got me a little pocket flashlight also. stocked up on some food gettin my groceries
for the month today. bought stuff to make some chilli and ham sandwiches, and chips
and crunchy cheetos, a little spaghetti, case of bottled water, 12 pack of generic
cola and 12 pack of mt. dew. a little orange juice. coffee. some milk. few frozen
pizza's. some bread. dozen eggs and pack of bacon. anyways....gonna try to keep
some stuff back for emergencies out of it. that way if we lose the power, then
i wont be in a really bad way. i dont like the idea of not havin power, and no
protection though after my gun bein stolen.

i'm gonna try to move on gettin one as soon as possible too. that no power and
pitch black stuff can be really somethin or another in that situation we was
in with that ice storm. and its not like i got people or family either.

anyways, first chance that i can get to get the funds together to get another
firearm, then thats what i'm gonna do cause the way times are goin and stuff,
i want the protection incase someone comes in on me ya know?

it was another set back on things seriously.

story of my life it seems...

if it aint one thing, its another.

anyways, just thought i'd hop on here and tell people who reads this from kentucky
to be safe and ya might wanna make sure ya got things buckled down on the outside
if ya got stuff outside for the strong winds, and make sure ya know where your
at with other things incase ya lose some power like your phones charged up, water
drawed up, flashlight, oil lamps, food to get by on til powers up if it cuts off,
etc...

that heads up preparation stuff comes in handy...

with that said, i'm gonna hop off here and go take me a hot bath.

get that in before things gets bad too. sounds like things will start bein
worse after midnight too, so if anyone needs to get stuff, ya still got time
to do it. got alot of rain thats been goin on and alot more comin this way with
these winds and stuff too. think i heard the rain could turn into some storms
too.

it was rainin when i went to town this morning with nell. appears to be gradually
get stronger from what i've seen here in etown.

done put the patio chairs that were on the walkway stacked up and christmas
decoration mrs b had, i had her put inside so it didnt get tore up.

there sayin somethin about stuff from 8am-2pm tomarrow too could be the
strongest.

possible power outages there sayin also.

everyone be as prepared as ya can. i know its all you can do, and for alot,
your only able to do so much also.

with that said, i'm gonna hop off here and go take me a bath. i gotta go
get an mri in the morning for my leg.

sounds like its gonna be when things are at the strongest hours possibly too.

hope your doin alright and the family also sunshine. i love you and
be careful k?

*kotc*

always and forever,

Free Out

lol i seen that post i put up last night. i got really tore up.

i'm still waitin for kerie to answer her blowed up phone i blew up too. hehehe

i think i was sayin my goodbyes to her or somethin too. i cant remember
everything i told her actually. lol

been gettin tore up really good lately, and mixin it with some meds and
actually enjoyin not bein in pain if the truth be known.

hearts all somethin or another too, but i'm tryin to not think about it
if i can keep from it too. i knew things were how they were and all that,
and holidays arent good either for missin people i lost and stuff, and
as far as sheldon, i want her to be happy, and hopin things will start
shiftin in a better direction now that she's got her a new apartment,
and stuff.

i'm hearin people are tryin to give me grief cause of kerie bein here
and writin statements cause of kerie visiting me as my guest.

i dont know where the stupid idiots gets off thinkin thats suppose to be a
crime for me to have guests. at least they AINT livin here day after day
like they were lettin josh while he was tryin to get in there pants
after his last bitch misty put his ass out. hell, josh was livin with
her while told by the courts not to have contact and shit too ya know?

and kerie has her own damn place too and can prove it also. but kerie
is allowed to visit me and be a guest here, and what the fuckin idiots
best get thru there head, is to leave me the fuck alone and my company
too. cause i'm gettin fed up with them comin to my fuckin home, puttin
there hands over my fuckin peephole, runnin there smartass fuckin mouth
about my company, and then havin there other little gang up bitches
comin down here tryin to run there shit and knockin on my door harassin
me like there fuckin asses has been doin.

this shit is them comin and bringin shit to my fuckin door. i aint been
goin around there asses or talkin to them or anything...

had the police here this past weekend after them thinkin they dont have
to fuckin do as the note on my door said either (which was big fuckin letters
tellin them to leave me and my company alone).

first it was the kid heaven comin down here. startin with her mouth as soon
as i opened the door askin why i said somethin, and i didnt even stay out
there to listen to the shit when i seen that shit comin out of her mouth.
its like "i aint gonna play this fuckin bullshit, and these fuckin games."
fuck the he said she said bullshit, the fuckin drama (after hearin how both
heaven and misty was callin kerie up tryin to prevoke her into a fight and
arguement and confrentation while at my home.) just cause kerie left, that
dont mean someone is gonna come down here tryin to push some play on me
with the damn shit ya know? i'm fuckin tired of all the damn shit, and
as soon as heaven started with that shit, i told her i didnt wanna hear it,
that there's a note on the door tellin everyone to leave me and my guest
alone, and i came back inside my home closing the door. then after that,
i'm talkin to the dispatcher on the phone about my gun and damn if i didnt
have mistys ass down here bangin on the door thinkin she didnt have to
listen to what the damn note said also....

i didnt even open the fuckin door when she was up here bangin on my door.

its like "fuck this shit...i aint fuckin playin ya know?"

so...i told the dispatcher that the officer can deal with this shit with
them two while gettin the info on the firearm that was stolen, cause they
dont think they have to listen to what the note said which was "ATTENTION EVERYONE!
LEAVE ME AND MY COMPANY ALONE PLEASE!"

i mean, this is the kind of fuckin shit that has been goin on with kerie before
they ran there shit on her....these people think they dont have to listen to
anyone cause nobody ever fuckin does anything about the shit when they do it,
and they think i have to spend my fuckin life here bein continuously harassed
and shit, and when people dont deal with the fuckin gang up bitches, then the
fuckin bitches thinks they can keep right on doin whatever in the fuckin hell
they want....

they fuckin bitch on kerie's ass and write her up and shit for unauthorized
guest and shit, and then josh's ass has been layed up here at mistys, then
becky's, and last i heard, becky put his ass out this past week, but its like
fucked up when they did that shit and all to kerie, but fuckin lets these
fuckin little gang up bullies get away with shit ya know?

its fuckin unfair is what the shit is....

but thats how shits been goin....

and others thinks its okay to just run all this other shit on the fuckin
disabled too cause there so fuckin stupid and shit in there minds, and fuckin mental, they
think they can run shit on them too.....

fuckin unfair discriminating blankety blanks.... *noddin*

be different if it were there damn asses i'm sure too...

live in lies, fabricate lies, let people get away with shit...

i've lost all fuckin respect and thensome, and if there's any
justice at all, peoples gonna get put in there places for doin
me how they have too.

thats what i truly pray for.

help people out, and then have them stab me in the back and crap...

havin there personal problem with me workin shit out with kerie.
havin there personal problem cause i talked with others (who was
apparently just forwarding emails to the regional manager when they
got them.)
havin there personal problem cause of lettin larry know some stuff
after feedin him to the wolves and runnin a play on him.

gonna try to get things together, and seriously from here on out, its
gonna be get what i need to get, and buckle down tryin to get myself
in a position to save what i need to move, and i'm leavin this place
cause i cant even feel i can have a life here, or anything after all
everyone has done, and everything thats happened.

between lying management fabricating lies and bullshit, and fuckin gang up bitches,
and people who wants to discriminate and not enforce things covering up for
others and lettin them get away with shit while lying and stickin it to you,
who in the fuck would honestly want to ya know?

i'll never be able to look at this place the same seriously.

all i have done seriously is fuckin ruined my life in this fuckin county for
trusting and helping others.

and the sooner i get out of it, the better too, cause as much as i'm thankful
for those who are good in this community and has helped me....i am honestly
not wantin to have all the memories, and instead want to just have a new
start and beginning and be somewhere that the wounds can heal, and maybe be
able to be somethin other then a bitch like i've turned into majorly too.

God as my witness....i will never do a repeat of this shit so long as i live
too.

and my days of givin information to anyone (other then tryin to deal with people
who wants to do do me wrong and hurt me and try to make me homeless) are over
with too.

and i do believe thats what this management is out to do also....
i think they want me out of here, and there so desperate to do it, they
will fabricate shit and all just to try to make me homeless for real.

anyways, i'm gonna go take a bath. still got a painful messed up leg here
and got an mri bein ran on it tomarrow, and then i'll be back. hopefully
all will be safe and hope nobody loses there power.

take care kentuckiana and love to mah sunshine bird and her family and hope
all are safe and well too.

sorry i'm in such a bitchy mood, but it seems to be the only way i know how
to be anymore after everything people has put me thru and shit and done.
hope there all fuckin happy and proud of themselves ya know?

its all just a matter of time though, and they'll all be out of my life, and
i'll be out of there's too. i'm gonna definately move though, thats a definate.
its all just a matter of gettin the funds saved to do it and shit, but had to
help kerie. i wasnt gonna leave her hangin and losin all she had, and shit, and
now its time to do damage control and push on to my turn bein next to move also.

sooner i'm out of here, hopefully, the sooner i can get on with my life and not
have to live in all the bullshit and hell and people tearin my shit up, and
covering up for people tearin my shit up and harassing me and all this other
fucked up shit ya know?

and fuck havin the memories in my face day in and day out too which is nothing
more then fuckin depressing as hell too.

all people clearly wants someone to do, is fuckin be kicked down and feelin
bad about themselves cause there such pieces of lowlife shit, they cant do
nothin but be on there fuckin power trip and shit and discriminate against
someone.

fuck all that....

i'm outta here though...sorry for the lengo too. i know i need to work on
it also. i'm tired, hungover, in pain, missing people, and tired of bullshit
needless to say.

love ya sunshine and fam,
Free Out

p.s. oh yeah, and i've had frank longs lying ass up here stealing notes off
my door. lying about takin them, and havin the fuckin notes poking out of his
chest he tried to stash them in under his jacket. then when he seen he
was caught lying and stealing them, he hands them back to me and i called
him a liar and came inside my apartment locking the door, and no fuckin shit,
the fuckin lying bastard was tryin to come into my fuckin home with the
door locked for real...

i let it be known on the police recorder too. they said if his ass comes
back around, then to call them.

but this is the same fuckin bunch that was runnin this shit on kerie before
she got put out, and now there bringin all this shit to my fuckin door
at my fuckin building and tryin to run this shit on me....

but i've had that shit too. as well as josh in the past tryin to fuck
with kerie hollaring and flaggin her ass down and shit, and her fuckin
bein upset and shit and fuckin drivin out not fallin for his bullshit.

and then there's been people runnin it with there mouths continously...

like i said, its the same fuckin gang up shit that was goin on with
kerie...and now there tryin to run the shit on me, and bringin it to
my fuckin door. its not like i'm goin around them, talkin to them,
and all this shit either...cause i havent been.

peoples fuckin got a problem with me and kerie kickin it and shit,
and hangin...and when she's here, they try to run there shit, and
then thought they'd try to pull a little slick willy and do some
backbiting shit runnin shit down here at my place and thinkin
they can do as they damn well please not givin a fuck about the
note on my door in big fuckin letters sayin to leave me and my
company alone....

but we'll see how things goes in time.....cause if its like the
fuckin past, nobody is gonna fuckin do a damn fuckin thing but
keep lettin the fuckin troublemakin bitches and cunts and there
whore of boyfriends just keep doin as they damn well please
as they discriminate some more...

but thats been some more shit thats been goin on too...

they been tryin to run somethin each fuckin day just about.

i think the police officer backed them off for a little piece, but
for how long remains to be seen.

anyways...forgot to mention that, and lettin know that too....

sounds like a merry christmas season to you? *pfffffffffffft and rollin my eyes*

i love ya sunshine.

Later

Free Out

hey,
just thought i'd let ya know....that i decided i was gonna turn bisexual.

no explanation bein given. just am gonna do it.

Free Out

2009-10 Bowl scheduleEmail Print Share ESPN.com

The 2009-10 bowl season starts in Albuquerque, N.M. and ends in Pasadena, Calif. Here's a look at the schedule from the New Mexico Bowl on Dec. 19 to the Citi BCS National Championship Game on Jan. 7 in the Rose Bowl.

All times Eastern


2009-10 College Football Bowl Schedule
Bowl Location Date/Time Network

New Mexico
Fresno State vs. Wyoming Albuquerque, N.M.
University Stadium Dec. 19
4:30 p.m. ESPN

St. Petersburg
UCF vs. Rutgers St. Petersburg, Fla.
Tropicana Field Dec. 19
8 p.m. ESPN

R+L Carriers New Orleans
Southern Miss vs. Middle Tennessee New Orleans
Louisiana Superdome Dec. 20
8:30 p.m. ESPN

MAACO Las Vegas
Oregon State vs. BYU Las Vegas
Sam Boyd Stadium Dec. 22
8 p.m. ESPN

S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia
Utah vs. Cal San Diego
Qualcomm Stadium Dec. 23
8 p.m. ESPN

Sheraton Hawaii
Nevada vs. SMU Honolulu
Aloha Stadium Dec. 24
8 p.m. ESPN

Little Caesars
Marshall vs. Ohio Detroit
Ford Field Dec. 26
1 p.m. ESPN

Meineke Car Care
Pitt vs. North Carolina Charlotte, N.C.
Bank of America Stadium Dec. 26
4:30 p.m. ESPN

Emerald
Boston College vs. USC San Francisco
AT&T Park Dec. 26
8 p.m. ESPN

Gaylord Hotels Music City
Kentucky vs. Clemson Nashville, Tenn.
LP Field Dec. 27
8:30 p.m. ESPN

AdvoCare V100 Independence
Texas A&M vs. Georgia Shreveport, La.
Independence Stadium Dec. 28
5 p.m. ESPN2

EagleBank
Army or UCLA vs. Temple Washington, D.C.
RFK Stadium Dec. 29
4:30 p.m. ESPN

Champs Sports
Miami vs. Wisconsin Orlando, Fla.
Florida Citrus Bowl Dec. 29
8 p.m. ESPN

Roady's Humanitarian
Bowling Green vs. Idaho Boise, Idaho
Bronco Stadium Dec. 30
4:30 p.m. ESPN

Pacific Life Holiday
Arizona vs. Nebraska San Diego
Qualcomm Stadium Dec. 30
8 p.m. ESPN

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces
Houston vs. Air Force Fort Worth, Texas
Amon G. Carter Stadium Dec. 31
Noon ESPN

Brut Sun
Oklahoma vs. Stanford El Paso, Texas
Sun Bowl Dec. 31
2 p.m. CBS

Texas
Navy vs. Missouri Houston
Reliant Stadium Dec. 31
3:30 p.m. ESPN

Insight
Minnesota vs. Iowa State Tempe, Ariz.
Sun Devil Stadium Dec. 31
6 p.m. NFL Network

Chick-fil-A
Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee Atlanta
Georgia Dome Dec. 31
7:30 p.m. ESPN

Outback
Northwestern vs. Auburn Tampa, Fla.
Raymond James Stadium Jan. 1
11 a.m. ESPN

Capital One
Penn State vs. LSU Orlando, Fla.
Florida Citrus Bowl Jan. 1
1 p.m. ABC

Konica Minolta Gator
West Virginia vs. Florida State Jacksonville, Fla.
Municipal Stadium Jan. 1
1 p.m. CBS

Rose Bowl Game presented by Citi
Ohio State vs. Oregon Pasadena, Calif.
Rose Bowl Jan. 1
4:30 p.m. ABC

Allstate Sugar
Florida vs. Cincinnati New Orleans
Louisiana Superdome Jan. 1
8:30 p.m. FOX

International
South Florida vs. Northern Illinois Toronto, Canada
Rogers Centre Jan. 2
Noon ESPN2

Papajohns.com
South Carolina vs. UConn Birmingham, Ala.
Legion Field Jan. 2
2 p.m. ESPN

AT&T Cotton
Oklahoma State vs. Ole Miss Arlington, Texas
Cowboys Stadium Jan. 2
2 p.m. FOX

AutoZone Liberty
Arkansas vs. East Carolina Memphis, Tenn.
Liberty Bowl Jan. 2
5:30 p.m. ESPN

Valero Alamo
Michigan State vs. Texas Tech San Antonio
Alamodome Jan. 2
9 p.m. ESPN

Tostitos Fiesta
Boise State vs. TCU Glendale, Ariz.
U. of Phoenix Stadium Jan. 4
8 p.m. FOX

FedEx Orange
Iowa vs. Georgia Tech Miami
Land Shark Stadium Jan. 5
8 p.m. FOX

GMAC
Central Michigan vs. Troy Mobile, Ala.
Ladd-Peebles Stadium Jan. 6
7 p.m. ESPN

Citi BCS National Championship Game
Texas vs. Alabama Pasadena, Calif.
Rose Bowl Jan. 7
8 p.m. ABC

SEE YA ON NEW YEARS MAH BUCKEYES!

5PM OHIO STATE BUCKEYES WILL BE PLAYIN IN THE ROSE BOWL

Oregon and Ohio State come up Roses
Ohio State and Oregon had their New Year's Day plans firmed up several days before the BCS got around to making it official.

By GREG BEACHAM

AP Sports Writer

PASADENA, Calif. —
Ohio State and Oregon had their New Year's Day plans firmed up several days before the BCS got around to making it official.

The Big Ten champion Buckeyes will meet the Pac-10-winning Ducks in the Rose Bowl on Jan. 1 in a pleasantly traditional finish to two outstanding seasons.

The Rose Bowl's customary intersectional rivalry is intact again this year, but this time it matches two standout programs that haven't received their conferences' traditional postseason grand prize in a surprisingly long time.

Ohio State (10-2) hasn't played in Pasadena since 1997, while Oregon (10-2) hasn't made the Rose Bowl since 1995.

The schools have known they would face each other since Thursday, when the No. 7 Ducks held off Oregon State 37-33 in the Civil War to claim the conference's top spot. The eighth-ranked Buckeyes wrapped up their fifth straight title and a California holiday with a win over Iowa back on Nov. 14.

Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has taken the Buckeyes to the heights of college football during his nine seasons in charge, but he's never led them to the Rose Bowl. Ohio State last made it at the end of the 1996 season, when the Buckeyes beat Arizona State.

Oregon hasn't been down the Pacific coast to a Rose Bowl since the 1994 season despite program architect Mike Bellotti's 14 mostly outstanding seasons, which began right after that appearance. With a remarkable rebound from a season-opening loss at Boise State, Oregon rookie coach Chip Kelly has done what Bellotti never managed before becoming athletic director this year.

"This football team is going to finish this thing the right way," Kelly said. "We are not going to play in a bowl game, we are going to win a bowl game."

Although the Ducks won conference titles in 2000 and 2001, they ended up in the Holiday and Fiesta bowls, respectively.

Ohio State has lost its last three postseason contests, but after playing in two national title games and two Fiesta Bowls in the past four seasons, the Buckeyes likely will welcome the change of stakes in Pasadena. So will the Ducks, who have won two straight bowl games, but haven't had the national showcase they've long craved, thanks to Southern California's dominance of the Pac-10.

The Ducks went 8-1 in Pac-10 play this fall, losing only to Stanford, while ending USC's seven-year reign atop the league.

"When you come in as a freshman, you want to win a championship," Oregon receiver Ed Dickson said. "When that time comes, you win a Pac-10 championship, you feel like you won a million bucks."

Most believe the Trojans' dethroning after four straight Rose Bowl appearances is a boon for the Pac-10's national reputation. Despite a 9-2 bowl record over the past two seasons, the West Coast league still struggles for national respect - and a win by the Ducks would fully erase the so-called "Pac-1" perception.

Ohio State has won each of the schools' previous seven meetings, including the 1958 Rose Bowl. They haven't faced each other since 1987.

The game also matches Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor against the Ducks, who recruited the Pennsylvania high school star heavily to play in their spread offense. Pryor claimed interest but didn't make a recruiting visit to Eugene, and his two seasons in Columbus have been inconsistent despite the Buckeyes' impressive record.


ohio state buckeyes and oregon ducks ...we'll see who goes home with the trophy.
see ya at gametime mah buckeyes.....beat them quackers ass! :) hehehe

BCS title game: Alabama vs. Texas
Going into the final week of the season, it was widely believed the SEC champ would play Texas, assuming the Longhorns could win the Big 12 title game.

The Longhorns' struggles gave hope to TCU and Cincinnati that they might be able to jump the Longhorns into the title game.

That hope, as it turned out, was completely false.

The Longhorns, based on stronger support in both the Harris and coaches polls, moved up to No. 2 in the final standings.

They'll now get the opportunity to win Mack Brown a second title . . . at the venue where he won his first.

Standing in their way? That would be another coach trying to get a second national title.

Nick Saban has resurrected the Alabama program quicker than even the most ardent Tide supporter could imagine, getting them to the national title game in just his third season. He'll now have a chance to join Bear Bryant and Gene Stallings in the Tide record books

Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Ohio State

One week prior to hosting the big show, the Rose Bowl will have a traditional Pac-10/Big Ten showdown in the granddaddy of them all.

Although one tradition won't be observed: USC will not be in attendance.

The Trojans' four-year streak of appearances in the Rose Bowl (which included a BCS title appearance vs. Texas) came to a close, with Oregon ending USC's seven-year run atop the Pac-10.

They'll play the Buckeyes, who are appearing in their fifth consecutive BCS bowl — a run that appeared in doubt early in the season, when Ohio State lost to Purdue. But the Buckeyes ran the table from that point to win the Big Ten.

Fiesta Bowl: Boise State vs. TCU

Boise State provided one of the more stirring moments in the history of the BCS, beating heavily favored Oklahoma in overtime of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl.

The Broncos will get another chance, earning a repeat trip to the Fiesta after completing a perfect 13-0 season, bringing their regular-season winning streak to 25.

And they'll face TCU in a battle of BCS-busters, which seems somehow fitting, given that this is the first season two schools from non-BCS conferences have earned berths.

TCU was hoping that the first 12-0 season in school history would be enough to earn them a shot for the national title.

But arguably the most balanced team in the postseason (the Horned Frogs are the only team ranked in the top six in both total defense and total offense) will have to settle for a Fiesta Bowl date with the Broncos.

Sugar Bowl: Cincinnati vs. Florida

This wasn't how it was supposed to end when Tim Tebow returned to Florida for his senior season. Arguably the most successful player in college football history was supposed to add a second Heisman Trophy to his collection while leading the Gators to a third title during his tenure.

The former could still happen, but Tebow and the Gators will have to settle for the Sugar Bowl after coming up woefully short to Alabama in the SEC title game.

Their opponent may also be a bit disappointed not to be playing for the national title, even if no one expected that would be a possibility when the season began.

Cincinnati needed to rally from 21 down and score a last-minute touchdown vs. Pittsburgh to preserve their perfect 12-0 season and clinch the Big East title and the automatic BCS berth that goes with it.

The Bearcats will be rewarded with a date with the Gators and Tebow for their efforts.

Orange Bowl: Iowa vs. Georgia Tech

Georgia Tech is ahead of schedule. Just two seasons into Paul Johnson's rebuilding project, the Yellow Jackets are ACC champs, earning the school's first BCS berth.

In fact, the Orange Bowl appearance will be Georgia Tech's first major bowl appearance since 1966, when they also played in Miami.

They'll play Iowa, which had aspirations for a title game berth after starting the season 9-0, then appeared to be on the outside looking in after back-to-back losses.

So the Hawkeyes should be pleased after earning the Big Ten's second BCS berth (after the automatic one given to conference champion Ohio State).

have had problems goin on here today.

the 9mm firearm has been stolen.

people banging on my door with a note flat out tellin people to
leave me and my company alone.

*shakin head and sighing*

anyways, the firearm i got and planned on havin for you has been
stolen sunshine. i had it beside the bed where i kept it so that
when i slept at night, if someone broke in, then i would have it
for protection. i thought we had done gotten rid of all the thieves
and stuff too, but apparently there still around.

it could have been anyone though seriously from people in and out,
to people who could have got it when outside my apartment at the
mailbox or neighbors or window open even...

hopefully they'll retrieve it in the future. i'm sorry is all i know
to say, and i guess i'll think twice about people inside my home and
makin sure i lock the damn door when i leave it. *shaking head*

i love ya,

Free Out

hello sunshine,
hope all is goin well with you. still tryin to wake up while looking at things.

have decided i need to start gettin things back on track, and try to deal with
the financial mess i'm in.

have concluded that i've done all that i can do to help kerie get moved and
situated, and help with a little bit of christmas, and now i need to start
puttin the brakes on things and try to deal with all the damage of things.

after lookin at it on black and white, its lookin like it'll be may
before i can get things where they need
to be.

how things are gonna go for her, i'm not sure, but i'm gonna have to just
put things in the unseen families hands, and me start gettin my own situation
under control so that i can do what i need to do so i can get what i need
together to move and stuff.

still needin to deal with my leg causing me problems, things goin on here
where i live, save to move, startin to get back with doctor appointments
and stuff i had put on hold too.

its gonna be buckle down majorly time seriously.

anyways, i hope your doin alright, and that you and your family and loved one's
has a nice holiday.

wishing you all the best wherever you may be.

i love ya always and forever. near or far. friend or more.

Free Out

hey sunshine,
i sent off the changes in the life insurance policy.

i couldnt set things up like i wanted, so i ended up just changin
the beneficiary with one of the 3 policies i had.

i put kerie sheldon down as the beneficiary for the $5,000 policy,
and kept you as the beneficiary with the other two of $10,000
(as your still the one i want to be in charge of things and deal
with stuff as best ya can.)

and its my wish ya try to look out for her (though i know she will
probably be a challenge for you of her own kind). lol

i have to crack up at that one. i'm sorry, but seriously, i do love
her with all my heart and i dont expect anyone to understand, but
thats alright....aint like i ever was good at makin sense with some
things ya know? lol

sometimes i just do stuff cause i think its the right thing to do, or
cause its somethin thats put on my heart, or just cause i want to reach
out and hope to make a difference in someone's life tryin to bless them
for all i've been blessed with ya know?

and sometimes, ya dont have people there when ya wish ya had someone too,
and i know that feeling too (as well as that one where people makes ya
feel like ya have to be this way, or that way, or do this, or do that,
or bow down have this condition or that one.....) *shaking head and
sighing*

its truly somethin that i will probably never understand cause even
when i think of times that i think of things like that, it just dont
sit right with me ya know? cause it amounts to people trying to control
someone, instead of someone just giving from there heart because they
want to give, or because they love someone, or cause they want to bless
another ya know?

i got myself in a pickle tryin to help her i found out today too, but thankfully,
that unseen family put some good people in my life to help me out too when
i make mistakes or get in that pickle ya know?

i thought i had things covered basicly to pay my utility bills with my january
check and doubling up on them, and then found out that some didnt want to
let me do that as they have in the past (even when i made good of it too at that).
they werent exactly nice to me either on the phone, but basicly, i was havin
people talkn like they may or may not disconnect my water and stuff (which
could make me homeless if they did that) over a $16.95 dollar bill. had them
poppin off some nice so friendly comments in my opinion for how i was hearin
them, but was talkn to ms. debbie at helping hand, and ms. debbie is a real
sweetheart and blessing in herself, but was talkn with her about stuff and she
was askin how i got in the situation i was in. *which i figure she hears all
kinds of stuff, and didnt want to spill on her on top of others, but let her
know i was tryin to help someone who ended up losin there home and single
parent and stuff, and in the process thought i had all the bases covered with
just hittin things in january, and got the reality of people not willing to
let me do that and stuff.* she mentioned how i would probably have things
comin back blessing me for doin what i did to help others, and i told her
that with her helping me, i'm already bein blessed, and thanked her for
helping me. she got me set up with covering the water bill, and as for the
electric bill, that one isnt gonna be cut off this month (which its like $40.00)
but i'm truly grateful she had my back covered like she did, and i told her
after the holidays, it was gonna be major buckle down time too and me just
doin my time til i get things squared up like they need to be with my loans
i got out taken care of and stuff, and then tryin to press on with gettin
myself moved also.

kerie's moving hit at a bad time also for the holidays, and she's still havin
problems with the car (tires presently), and she knows that things are gonna
have to be dealt with without my help after this month for needin to get things
straightened up and doin damage control and funds saved to get moved that way
myself.

people can think and talk all they want runnin it about her, but honestly, i
dont wanna hear it. as i've said before...i love her and she's someone i want
as my family, and she's straight and things will never probably be anything
more then friends, but she also makes me laugh, feel needed, keeps my mind off
of stuff that nobody other then you has ever been able to keep my mind off of,
and honestly is someone who can use all the help she can get.

she's been havin other medical problems goin on with her heart and stuff
too. she has to see a cardiologist. bottom line, she hasnt had stuff let
up with hittin her since she lost her home here, and if anyone thinks i
regret helpin her with the situation she's in, then truth is, i dont, and
if i had to do it all over again knowing what i know to this day, i would
still do it all again too.

she matters to me. i'm not gonna stop caring or loving her just because she's
straight. she puts up with alot of crap from me too, and well...thats how
i stand and feel about it.

i'm just thankful for all whose carin to help with things, and i hope
God blesses you all for being the blessings your being as well.

with that said, i'm gonna end this.

i love you and hope your doin well sunshine. and hope you and your family
and loved one's has a merry christmas and happy new year.

i still think about you all the time too for what its worth. wondering
how you are, what your doing, if your happy, etc.

either way, your always gonna be in my heart near or far. friend or more,
always and forever. nobody will ever be able to change that.

i love you. *kotc*

Free Out

i love you kerie sheldon. so glad i got you in my life.

i'm gonna be putting you on my life insurance policies also as i mentioned
last night when askin if it would be okay with you.

thanks to those helpin her out also. when you've had your life
turned upside down and tryin to get everything dealt with, that has
to be dealt with when it comes to moving, and the holidays hittin
at the sametime too, that makes it even more difficult. i pray
God blesses all of you who are helpin her out.

also, so ya know...i am gonna end up eventually moving that way
too. just gotta get some stuff dealt with on this end to
deal with damage control from helpin to get her set up, and
then i'm gonna press on with things.

spoke with the mail carrier after seein problems with the application
there gettin to me, and was told the problem is on the
hodgenville end(which if they had a return address on the envelope, and
sent to the wrong address here, they should have gotten it back too.)
*when told its bein sent 2 and 3 times, and still no application,
it smells like someone is tryin to keep me from moving there
about like changin a beneficiary on a life insurance policy in
the past huh readers?*

*free shakes her head and sighs* i will definately be movin
that way though...bank on it! not debating it no more. only
question is when i'll arrive, and will get there when i can.

have a written statement from the mail carrier here tellin me how
there sticking everything they get in my box also.

in any event, i'll be headin that way as soon as i can get things
set up to go. thank you again for helpin kerie out whose been
helpin her in hodgenville.

May God truly bless you all,

Free Out

p.s. so ya know also...i aint convinced that mail problem is
on the hodgenville end either, cause if i'm not mistaken,
mail goes to louisville before arriving here, and if people
wanted, they can intercept mail at any point from hodgenville
end, to louisville if it goes there, to intercepting it at
the etown post office and it just not gettin in my carriers
stuff to deliver.....

*thats my two cents on things. i'm not as deaf, dumb, and
blind as some would like to keep thinking though, but clearly
there is some kind of interference tryin to keep me from
moving there, and we all can tell by the journal who all
has been in the picture of things too huh?*

happy holidays to all, and so some knows...does this mean
cause i'm puttin kerie on the life insurance policy, that
i'm changing anything with amy bein on it and stuff?

no i'm not changing things with amy. i'm just adding kerie
to what i have, so that if somethin should happen to me, she
will have a little somethin also. kerie is like family to
me, and she always will be, and no matter how things plays
out, i'm gonna always love her and the kids, and she will
always be family inside my heart as amy is.

and i wouldnt count on the fact that if ya hear me and kerie
are into it about anything, that my feelings are gonna change
either. *just lettin some know.*

its as simple as this.......i love her, and she's family to me
inside my heart.

she was my friend first and foremost, i love her friends or more,
near or far, always and forever.

are ya seein a pattern in things yet readers between her and
amy? *i hope ya do...*

Later

i guess nothing was done to josh when he went to court, cause he was seen
out here at the 100 bldg walkway with misty and later that night at the 101 bldg.

just lettin the readers see some more of this shit when it comes to josh for your
own selves...

let me make somethin clear hardin county....

november 30, 2009 josh long

court!

assault

ai

if i dont see the fuckin maximum sentence bein passed to this son of a bitch
who fucked my ride up that was brand new with zero miles, is livin with the person
at 100D presently since his arrest while under a no contact of them.........

YOUR NEVER GONNA GET A DAMN FUCKIN THING AGAIN!

and you can feel your nuts itch for how stupid i'm not tonight as you try
to execute your power, but ya know what? I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT A DAMN THING
YOU DID TODAY OR OTHER SHIT!

YOU PUSH JUSTICE AS IT SHOULD BE FOR EVERYTHING HE COSTED ME AND DID TO THAT GIRL
ON NOVEMBER 18TH, AND ALL THIS SHIT HE BROUGHT TO MY FUCKIN DOOR AND BUILDING!

HE BRAGGED HOW HE LIED TO YOU ABOUT SHIT TOO

SO FUCK THIS SHIT YOU BEEN RUNNIN COVERIN UP FOR HIS ASS, COX SUCKIN HIS DICK
FEGET, ALL OF THEM....

YOU GOT ONE SHOT TO MAKE THIS SHIT RIGHT NOVEMBER 30TH, AND IF I DONT SEE IT HAPPENING,
I PROMISE YOU.........YOU WILL NOT LIKE WHATS COMING FOR THE REST OF TIME
AFTERWARDS!

NOT TO MENTION THIS BASTARD DOIN OTHER SHIT TO ME AS WELL AS HIS DAD!

LAST FUCKIN TIME I'M SAYIN IT!

AND LAST FUCKIN CHANCE FOR ALL OF YOU!

MAKE IT RIGHT OR BURN IN HELL AND DIE FOR ALL I CARE!

AND DONT EVER GET SHIT AGAIN! I PROMISE YOU, IT WILL NOT HAPPEN IF YOU FUCK
ME OVER ON THIS!

amy,
just wanted to tell ya that if ya ever read this, then to have a nice life cause
it sure as hell dont look like shit is ever gonna happen til the next life,
and i'm fuckin tired of believin in anyone for anything other then bein fuckin
sorryass fuckin liars and players and users.

cant nobody fuckin do anyone right it seems, and i'm fuckin tired of walkin
this shit i've been fuckin walkin ya know?

so fuck it...shit cant happen, see ya in the next life and sorry shit went down
and i'm fuckin done, and this internet shit is gonna be gone after i finish
up some shit i'm usin it for, and i'll just fuckin start buyin my own damn
sounds and fuck all these fuckin bastards and there games with that shit too
ya know?

can use the money for other things verses puttin out 40 bucks a month also.

and not have people fuckin bein all in my business like some noseyass fuckin
motherfuckers.

all people wants in my business for is to either fuck up my life or fuck up
someone elses cause there such fuckin sorryass fuckin people, they cant
find nothin better to do.

then they get all fuckin stuck on themselves thinkin there all high and mighty
and righteous and truth is, cant a damn fuckin one treat nobody how they would
want to be treated if it was them, and its fuckin wrong. and so is alot of
other shit i've been seein thru the fuckin years too.

i'm fuckin done with all this damn fuckin shit and fuckin people who cant
be cool and get along and lives for fuckin hurt and ugly and there fuckin
rocks bein jacked off on thinkin there better then someone and fuckin
desperate bastards thinkin they gotta hurt people and ruin there fuckin
lives for there fuckin paycheck, and thinkin its cool to do this shit
of deceivin and manipulating and all this fuckin shit i've been stuck in....

its fuckin wrong and i'm fuckin done with all of it and everyone.

and i'm fuckin tired of people thinkin i have to fuckin live my fuckin
life to please there damn fuckin asses too!

fuck you all. fuck you fuck you and fuck you ya hear me?

i live my fuckin life and for me. not for a damn fuckin one of you and if
you got a motherfuckin problem with it, then stay the fuck away cause chances
are, i dont like your fuckin ass either!

fuckin sorryass fuckin people.

bye amy like i said...this is the end of the line for me with everyones ass and
my business and all watch and fuckin see....

and watch and see if people dont hear from me again after i say my goodbye to
you on here too.

i aint fuckin talkn no fuckin smack and fuck whatever people does. they've
done fuckin ruined my fuckin life so bad and my fuckin health and so much
shit i dont give a fuck no more!

they can all fuckin go straight to hell and fuckin burn there for all i give
a fuck!

and when i get the funds saved, i'm blowin this sorryass fuckin place too.

i'm already boxin shit up to have it ready to fuckin go!

fuck these motherfuckers and there fuckin hate crime and there fuckin gang up
shit and there fuckin bully bullshit!

and fuckin bein noseyass bitches and cunts and fuckin sorryass bastards
who thinks this is all people are fuckin put on this earth for and shit.

its all fuckin wrong like i said amy. and its been fuckin wrong for a long
damn time!

i should have never trusted a damn fuckin one of them!

and i should have never fuckin stayed on this fuckin internet either!

but fuck anyone thinkin i'm gonna be with there motherfuckin ass too.

like i said, everyone can fuckin go straight to fuckin hell who played
there shit and thought they was cute runnin there game on my ass. and
that includes my fuckin family too.

its all a matter of time like i said...people will fuckin see you watch !

they'll not hear from my ass again...and its already on with my dad and
stepmom. i'm just dealin with this bike right now, and talkin to my kid
sister cause i seriously aint gonna fuckin put the money into the shit
and why even fuckin bother when all people are gonna do is let others
fuckin vandalize it and make fuckin excuses to cover up for them and
not have the shit on the camera for this fuckin excuse or that one
and straight up try to tie someone up financially.

they can all fuckin rot in hell ya hear me?

they can all motherfuckin go straight to fuckin hell and fuckin rot there!

i aint playin this shit no more and that bike is goin and i hope they
fuckin all reap gods vengance when it comes there fuckin time, and i hope
god strikes every motherfuckin one of them down for doin me how they did.

i had the right to have a fuckin life without all there damn fuckin shit
and the fuckin gang up shit too.

i aint that fuckin blind and i sure as hell aint that fuckin stupid, but
you will see, i will be fuckin gone from everyones fuckin life and there
wont be no fuckin communication again and they can all answer to god for
there fuckin shit too!

i will never excuse people for this shit.

its done!

i'm done with it!

i'm fuckin tired of wastin my fuckin breath.

i'd rather find somethin better to do and be where i can fuckin party and kick
it and not have the damn fuckin shit!

and thats what i'm gonna fuckin do too!

come payday watch and fuckin see if i dont!

and fuck me bein on here on this fuckin journal or peoples fuckin chatrooms
or anything of the fuckin such...........

in any event, have a nice life.

if ya ever read this, you know how i feel about you so fuck me goin there too.

i'm tired of fuckin sorryasses thinkin all someone is here for is to have there
fuckin heart bleed or fuckin keep someone fuckin mentally fit for there sadistic
sorryass fuckin shit, and aint a bitch or bastard one ever gonna make me stop
loving you, but they can all go straight to fuckin hell for all i care.

and dont think my feelings will change down the road either.

way past that shit!

so with that said....i'm outta here. just sayin goodbye and have a nice life
and fuck wasting my breath on anything else. dont fuckin matter anyways just
as it hasnt the last damn fuckin 13 years!

Free Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N942x7n6ZgA

you can do whoever you like.................lil wayne

suggest ya get ready to wrap yourself around not hearin from me again seriously, cause
"its on".

Free Out

wont be back on this livejournal no more.

reason being...cause everyone is in on this stuff from my family to cops, to management
to others i've been around, and i'm gonna start limiting things til i get it
down to nadda....

hope all are happy they played there games of manipulating me, lying to me,
trying to mess with my mental stability, all your criminal acts, victimizing me,
vandalizing my transportation........

i'm done with everyone. and its all a matter of time and i'm out of everyones life
too once and for all (as well as out of this lying corrupt stink of a county of
crooked authories, crooked judges/commonwealth, crooked government officials,
lying two faced backstabbing gossiping neighbors, and sorryass fuckin management).

your all gonna have your day to answer for all that you did, but as far as me,
you can get ready to see if i'm talkin shit with this last post or not in time.

its gonna tell the truth....

and if people thinks i'm so nieve and stupid as to not realize that someone got
to my family too, then think again also...

but thats all i am to you is someone to play huh? *not no more* cause your all
gonna see how everyone is gonna be out of my life and hell with me ever believing
a damn fuckin one of you for a damn fuckin thing again.

hope it was worth it. thanks for ruining my life and health and puttin all the
scars i will forever live with on my heart.

bye

Free Gone For Good

dont worry about stuff hacker, i'm not gonna be on here much tonight for you to
harass, stalk and annoy me.

i'm actually too pissed off to even waste my time bein here for your bullshit on top of it.

and once again, it would be nice if you would fuckin get over your fuckin hearing problem
and leave someone the fuck alone. i dont give a fuck if you got a fuckin badge
workin for law enforcement or not ya hear me?

your still a foul smelling corrupt crooked piece of shit who is abusing your powers
harassing and vandalizing my laptop and jackin off on your fuckin little hate crime
cause all your other fuckin criminal activities to entrap me and everything else you
fuckin try to pull with your conspiring buddies has went fuckin south.

your so fuckin stuck on yourself and your fuckin dicks, that all you do is make your
fuckin police deparment look bad cause of your discrimnation and fuckin sexism.

either way, your the worst stinkin police department i ever fuckin seen in all my
fuckin life, and i cant wait til i get out of your corrupt crooked town, and
get where officers knows how to be something that is admirable and noble verses
abusing there powers, thinkin there above the law, and committing fuckin criminal
acts acts its own citizens.

and seriously, you need to get the fuck over your fuckin self and fuckin sexism
bullshit that you and the county attorneys office both fuckin has. you seriously
have got problems if you think all this world fuckin evolves around is whats
between your fuckin legs.

and you need to learn to let people live and let live verses bein so fuckin hard
up and desperate that you have to entrap people to try to fuckin get a paycheck
too.

believe it or not, there is alot to be said when there isnt crimes bein committed
that is worth people wantin to come to the town to live at, verses this shit
of you tryin to fabricate crimes and bein the criminals to fuckin get a check.

its truly fuckin pathetic and its seriously a fuckin discrace to its citizens.

grow the fuck up, get the fuck over yourself, stop the fuckin discrimination,
and fuckin leave me alone and move the fuck on with your life.

Free Out

i see the corrupt stink still cant get the fuck over himself. has to keep on
with his fuckin shit to try to ruin someone's fuckin day and night once again
like the fuckin loser that the insecure bastard is.

this time its fuckin with my blog on myspace and the time and order of the songs
i fuckin put up there to listen to.

has to truly fuckin suck to be this fuckin insecure ya know it?

and i got news for ya bastard, there aint nothin about you that is fuckin amy, and
amy you will never fuckin be no matter how you fuckin try to run your fuckin mindgames
and bullshit ya hear me?

or how you park cars like hers outside in the front of walmart and hope someone
will fuckin bite into your fuckin bullshit like the sorryass fuckin piece of
trash and garbage that you fuckin are.

what you are, is a pathetic insecure little fuckin piece of shit who hides behind
a fuckin computer like the biggest fuckin pussy that ever fuckin was, and
clearly cant get a fuckin life for tryin to make your life about fuckin with others
and showin the world what a first class fuckin excuse of a human being you
are to constantly harass and stalk and vandalize peoples fuckin laptops abusing
your fuckin power like the fuckin foul stinkyass piece of mud rolling pig that
you are.

gotta try to ruin the holidays for all dont ya?

cause nobody wants to fuckin have a damn thing to do with your fuckin hard of hearing
sorryass....

apparently.......

i truly hope ya fuckin burn and rot in hell so ya know.

and i'll never want a fuckin thing to do with your fuckin sorryass either.

in fact, i hope you fuckin choke and die too cause i'm fuckin tired of your fuckin
bullshit bein the corrupt fuckin bastard that you are tryin to play your fuckin
little mindgames of lets push someone over the fuckin deepend like the discriminating
bastard that you and your fuckin police department is all about!

fuckin murderers!

if your not fuckin being fuckin sexists, then your bein fuckin criminals and murderers.

your the fuckin biggest fuckin discrace to your fuckin department that ever fuckin was.

and like i said...i hope you fuckin choke and die and burn and rot in hell where your
fuckin sorryass evil ass belongs! til then, go fuck yourself, leave me the fuck
alone, and get it thru your fuckin uglyass fuckin head, that i will never want a damn
thing to do with your fuckin ass so long as i fuckin live you pathetic fuckin bastard
and you will never make me stop loving amy no matter how jealous of a fuckin prick
you fuckin are!

your damn day will fuckin come soon enough...and if there is any luck at all, maybe
we can have you fuckin drop dead before the holidays so i can fuckin have a holiday
season without your damn fuckin harassment and criminal bullshit on my fuckin laptop
while everyone fuckin watches you run your fuckin shit!

and trust me....your fuckin department lettin you do this, is just as fuckin guilty
of the criminal acts as you are. and i hope god puts every fuckin one of them in
there fuckin place too for allowing you to break the fuckin law and try to torment
someone with your fuckin bullshit....i hope he sends every damn fuckin one of you
who knows about it, allows it to go on, and has there hand in it, straight to the
fuckin pits of hell to rot there for all eternity and may you all fuckin cry and
scream and beg for mercy and suffer like you fuckin like to put me thru with all
your fuckin corrupt fuckin shit you fuckin scum of the bucket bastards!

make no mistake...i am fuckin serious as can be too! i hope you all fuckin die and
burn in hell who are involved in this shit and allows it to continue, and may
god pour his fuckin wrath on every damn fuckin one of you so that you suffer
ten times worse then anything you fuckin put me thru! and may you all want to fuckin
die and never be able to suffering day in and in darkness and isolation and nobody
there............your day will come! your fuckin day will come...and like i said...
if there is any luck at all...i hope he fuckin crushes you all today too!

Free Out *go to hell and leave me the fuck alone for the millionth fuckin time
stalking corrupt pig*

and stop playin your fuckin bullshit tryin to act like your amy, when you will never
be amy though you may like to try to frame someone to be her like the lowlife shit
that you are! aint nobody here biting into your fuckin games of framing amy pig...
just like i aint bitin into your little frame job with that car like amys at
walmart and your fuckin uniform and badge of a pig following me...

but i do hope god fuckin strikes you down and sends your evil corrupt ass straight
to hell where you belong! and lets you learn the real meaning of tormenting someone
and torture, and suffering! may you truly reap what your evil lowlife scum of a
bucket ass sows!

alright...i flipped it to some christmas music here...i'm gonna get a little cleanin
and stuff done here.

will touch base sometime or another....

probably wont be away too long.

dunno.

i be somethin or another here ya know?

love to mah sunshine.

ya know i loves ya always and forever near or far friend or more huh? :)

muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tis a truth babe.

talk atcha soon.

Free Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpV6CfDzwMo

i cant find the right video she looks at when she plays it up here,
but its one that has president obama in it.

its a really good video that hits the nail on the head too, but i cant
find it.

and the thing that pisses me off the most about sheldon, is the fact that she has
a serious problem with lying.

i dont like liars.

and i dont like people who thinks they can run the shit on me, and it not ever be
seen (cause trust me....its all just a matter of time before every fuckin lie that
anyone ever fuckin tells will catch upto them).

and more then that....it fuckin hurts. cause when i see someone lying to me, it
makes me think that they dont think much of me, and to do it continuously, is
to really show me how you dont think nothin of me ya know?

and i'm tired of the fuckin lies!

there is no fuckin since in it.

and its over the stupidest fuckin shit at that too!

i mean fuck, what kind of a relationship does anyone have if the shit is being
nothing but fuckin lies ya know?

but that is my number one thing that has me pissed off at sheldon more then anything
right now.

like i said...i've been too damn good to her to have all this shit happening, and
i dont fuckin have to stay in the shit either.

i can walk away with a clear conscience real damn easy now knowin in my heart of
hearts, that i cared for her, loved her, did as jesus would want me to do and help
a single mother out so that she doesnt end up homeless, and have no fuckin problem
with it at all seriously.........

i did what i did because i wanted to, and with no strings attached, but as far
as i'm concerned, i've done my part to where i dont have to keep hangin around
there and keepin myself in fuckin debt for someone who wants to do me wrong
and feed me lies and try to run shit on me and take me for this and that ya know?

and i think that message was shannon from kerie's phone too after thinkin on it too
cause it was worded "how in the morning". kerie dont normally say goodmorning to me
like that, and i just seen i had two voice mails from shannon who i left messages
with yesterday and all i got was her voice mail.

like i mentioned before...the holidays are not exactly easy for me since they were
the last one's i spent with my mom before she died, and i dont need all the fuckin
bullshit from anyone. and i'm not gonna waste my time in the fuckin bullshit either.

i presently am lookin at things bein tied up to just break even come first week of
march.

you think i need to keep myself in a bigger hole for someone whose gonna do me like
i've been bein done?

i dont think so. and that dont mean that i dont love her and care about her and
want her to be happy and shit too. see, people dont get that shit i guess or
somethin, but i've learnt livin a few days, that you can love someone and care
about them and not put yourself out there if all there gonna do is feed you lies
and hurt ya you know?

i mean, i think this stuff with my own blood family has seriously had some stuff
goin on in me that i aint sure how to word it and all that, but when it came
to kerie and her situation, i knew what it was like to need someone and not have
someone there whether it be your own family or anyone else.

and she had her mom there to the extent of lettin her stay there, while other
times she was saying her mom wouldnt let her stay there, and i know one time her
mom couldnt even believe she told me that she couldnt when talkn to her too, and
its hard when your use to livin in your own apartment and lose that and have
to even go there ya know? and in my case, i dont think my family would ever take
me in cause straight up, my mom isnt alive.

and my dad has his personal problems with me, and everyone has ran it to this step
mom of mine, and honestly there all happy in there own little clique and think
they know me so well and all this crap, and honestly, i'm just tired of people
makin me feel bad all the fuckin time ya know?

i'm tired of people who wants to make me feel bad, people who would rather live
in lies verses the truth, people who fuckin twists shit that gets said, adds
shit that isnt even said, fuckin gossiping, fuckin noseyasses, fuckin people
who cant just love and treat there neighbor like they wanna be loved and
treated, family that thinks that when there kid turns a certain age, that
there kid is no longer there family and truthfully just worries about
there own fuckin material shit more then there own flesh and blood. parents
who dont want to watch there kids. expects others to watch them. looks to
blame others for there lousy parenting. fuckin liars. fuckin players who
wants to run game on ya. fuckin assholes who cant treat someone with some
fuckin respect, and wants to think there all that, and truthfully needs
to fuckin hold up a mirror and look really hard at themself, cause if they
do, they'll see they aint no better then the next person. fuckin people
who thinks money is all that fuckin matters and material shit verses peoples
fuckin lives. people who wants to try to play god of this world and expect
people to have to be how they want and speak like they speak and dress like
they dress, and do like they do............

people who aint got a fuckin life and cause they dont, has to make it there
fuckin mission to do all they can to ruin someone elses fuckin life.

i'm just fuckin tired of everything and all the shit.

straight up....i'm gonna get me a case of 80 proof, and drink up, and work
on this financial shit, and then work to save to move out of here and this
fucked up county for real.

i feel for those who aint fucked up in this county too and who knows how
to love and treat someone like they wanna be loved and treated, and if they
aint sure about somethin, can at least have the balls to ask someone ya know?

but this place is seriously fucked up with people who would rather live in lies
and bullshit and stick there nose in peoples lives and dick with them havin
a roof over there head and so much fuckin shit....i'm fuckin tired of it, and
do have every intention of tryin to put shit together after i get things
straightened out from helpin kerie, to move somewhere else, and it wont be
in this county.

thats a truth!

as for sheldon, she gonna have to look at her own situation i guess and look
at what she wants to be about, and who she wants to be with, and all that, but
she's got her roof over her head, and she's got her little boy toys, and they
got a job, and if she can fuckin sleep with them and fuck there brains out, then
she can let them help her deal with the other shit as far as i'm concerned.

and that dont mean i dont love her either, cause i'm gonna always love her as
i've said before, but thats where i stand, and the thing that pisses me off
the most is the damn lies, and honestly, that shit goes on when she gets around
others and this fuckin dicks, and when she aint got all these others around and
shit, then she's really good to me and shit too. but i've had my fill of shit
right now, and the lies and the bullshit, and i have no regret or shame in
pullin back to deal with my own situation and not be where people makes me
feel bad and plays that shit ya know?

she's got the roof over her head, she's got people she fucks in bed and sleeps
with who has a job and can help her out, and she tells me how she just uses
them for sex and all this, but straight up, i didnt sign on to finance her
shit like couple when truth is, were not a couple ya know?

i signed on to help her get her shit out and not lose it, and her get an
apartment.

and i bought her a storage shed not to lose it. i just got thru payin the
second month for it on the 17th of november to keep from her losing it as
well as givin her money for the rent/stuff, and she got people to help her
with gettin her utilities on, and she had a guy name kenny showin up here
gettin her bed haulin it, and she's got johnny whose ran his mouth about
how his friend nate owns the paperwork on a truck that jakes sister has,
and can get the truck to do that (as they used it to haul her stuff off
from here in it.)

but i had shit lined up, and people wanted to start with the lying shit
and all again and i've done lost shit in this stuff too like some leather
fringe chaps and shit, and she went and pawned stuff and has been blowing
that, and then she wanted to play the lets ignore calls shit, and leave
someone hangin high and dry, and its like "flip".....

anyways....thats where i'm at with the shit, and its the lying that pisses me
off the most. and if thats what shit has to be when she gets around others,
then let others deal with the shit, and i'm fuckin gone ya know?

simple as that....and thats where i am right now....

and its the first time i've done this and have put my foot down i understand
too like i have verses always bein there for her to rely on and depend on, but
truth is....i cant rely on her for a damn thing. i get her car up and runnin
after shit goes south supposidly with her gettin her money and all, and when
she gets her car up and runnin, does she care to think i may need to do shit?
or care about my situation? hell no...i'm havin to pay nell cash the following
payday to take me places.

i fuckin spend my last 22 bucks for her to get what tire work on her car after
the starter was put on that could be done cause she had chrome plated wheels
that were chipping and crap and causin air to escape around the wheels, and
a nail in her tire, and that sucked down every bit of the 22 bucks i had, and
she still had another screw in the one tire as well.

but i told her....if i put this down here on these tires, this is my weeks
grocery money til my foodstamps comes in...are you gonna cover me for food
for a week? she says yeah. her definition of a weeks groceries was a loaf
of bread, package of cheese, and package of bologna.......

which truthfully, since she didnt care before that, i had done barrowed bread
and bologna off of mrs basham til i could square her up with it.

but like i told her recently........i cant rely on you for crap!

again..i love her...i know i'm twice her age..i know she says she's straight
and all this.....but its like "ding ding....you expect me to be here for
you like a couple too....whether its buy me this at the store, or that....
ya knew that you had to have money to get in, and sell some of your stuff
to the pawn shop and then blow it on runnin around chasin this boy toy
and that boy toy and spendin 160 bucks on stuff for the kids (which i dont
blame someone for not wantin to get there kids stuff that needs it and all),
but when your needin a roof over your head first....its like "duhhhh you
need to worry about that more then the other ya know?" *but i think its
all more of how she depended and counted on me to carry the weight too.

i got little courtney a bike that was the best they had, and i know that
kid had plenty of toys, and the the one whose birthday she was seein in
louisville was her son (and i was bouncing checks to get her gas money
for goin to see her son on his birthday), and then heard how she had
this other money bein spent, and i'm like just shakin my head cause
its like i can see where she's been runnin this crap and all ya know?

and its not so much about the money that gets to me. its the fact that
she thinks she can play me, lie to me, and run this shit....and then
expects me to be there and take all this other shit, and like i said....
i know this shit is gonna be a first for her to see when it comes to me,
but i'm standing my ground with it.

and if anything, i hope she'll learn from it, cause i'm sure she'll miss
havin some shit go like it did, and i'm sure its gonna put her in a place
where even though she dont wanna have to depend on those she fucks in bed
for shit, she is gonna probably have to do just that if she wants there
help in the matter, and whether she comes around me again or not is her
call too, but there aint nothin about how she's done me that has been
like people thinks, or cool for that matter (while i had some warning
me and shit too), but seriously....i still dont regret it. cause it did
help her and the kids, and the worse situation is she's gonna lose her
stuff in that storage shed if she dont take it out of there, but i know
she will find a way to do that before it gets to that point too, but she's
gonna learn to either treat my ass better and stop with this bullshit, or
she's gonna lose someone who truly cared about her and did her right
but her lies and bullshit was more important ya know?

but thats the shit that pisses me off the most. that damn lying of hers.
and her runnin shit playin someone. and this guy she's with is all about
that shit too. johnny cline. mr game. i'm glad he finally got a job
and shit. but kerie also has this shit that pisses me off too called bein
around dicks who has done me wrong, and havin no problem fuckin them even
after they did her friend wrong ya know? and thats a separate issue all
in itself too. i mean, if you had some dick doin your asses wrong and shit...
and then you see them choosing to go fuck them and feed them and keep
them layed up in your crib, seriously....hows that shit gonna make you feel
ya know? *like you dont fuckin mean shit, and that whats between there
fuckin legs is more important then your damn friendship or whatever right???*

well...thats been part of the shit i've been dealin with since knowing
kerie too.

and its fucked up. especially when they aint done shit for helpin ya out
to boot and instead just sucked up all they could from ya while hittin it
ya know?

but i've been seein all this shit, and honestly, i was tryin to enjoy the
good verses dwellin on all this other shit, but now its at a place where
i'm tierd of seein the same shit ya know? so i pulled out and said fuck
it, and i'm gonna let her and those she's fuckin deal with the shit in
storage, and i'm gonna get me a case of 80 proof and square duck up, and
get a little eats, and try to have some liquid spirits for the holidays
verses people lyin to me, playin me, all the damn drama, and takin me
for granted.

if she wants me to to help her out like a couple, then she best just
get ready to put all them damn dicks out once and for all too, cause
my days of dealin with things like were a couple is over until we are
actually a couple ya know what i'm sayin?

*free nods*

anyways....whether i see her again or not, i wish her the best. dont
wish no ill will or harm to come to her or tne kids, and appreciate
anyone who can keep her ass out of trouble cause i swear that shit
is not somethin i would like to see her have ya know? and i will
always love her whether i see her again near or far. friend or more.
always and forever just as i do amy.

the shit with me was unconditional. she dont owe me shit seriously.
i dont want her to give me anything. i didnt do shit for her to pay
me back. but its time that things be where they need to be too, and
its time someone understands that i dont have to be in situations if
they cant treat me right, and if they wanna be a couple, then they
best start thinkin about that and what they really want too, cause
i aint spendin my life to do shit as a couple with someone that i'm
not a couple with ya know?

and she knows i have no problem with treatin someone good if i am with
them too.

and i really dont.

but i'm gonna try to salvage what i can of the holidays, have me some
mental break, and holiday spirits and try not to drown in all this crap
of stuff goin on with her, and others givin me lease violations sayin people
were my guests that wasnt, and actin like i was out bein loud and shit
when it was josh and them moving out, and people just wantin to bring
all this fuckin shit at me while tryin to deal with my mom not bein here
and a step mother who ran her mouth tellin me how there's not gonna be
no christmas except for my sisters kid PERIOD! *which truthfully, if there
was never gonna be a christmas, i'm sure it wasnt gonna be on my blood
moms watch...........but what the fuck ever ya know??? i done said my
goodbye to my dad, and she's throwed up how he dont even talk to me in
my face tryin to make me feel bad and shit and twisted shit i said, and
i'm fuckin done with it all to where trust me.....toasting my mom a good
drink while listenin to some music wishing her a merry christmas sounds
much fuckin better as well as not havin to think about all this other
shit ya know?*

*free says "i love ya mom....almost thanksgiving...hope ya have a good one up
there in heaven, and will be thinkin about ya"*

life is so damn short, and why people has to be so damn stupid is beyond me...

but anyways...i'm gonna go make me another cup of coffee. thats what pisses
me off the most about sheldon, and where i'm at with shit.

Free Out